Friday, June 5, 2020

I am racist.

I am racist.

The first thing I ever remember doing that was specifically racist was in middle school.

I’m ashamed and I don’t want to be writing this. It was so, so stupid. But I’m going to write it.

I’d been reading a bunch of YA books of the Sweet Valley High/Nancy Drew variety. In one of them, I don’t remember which, a black character gets called an Oreo. The white friends all act confused, and the black character bitterly explains, “Black on the outside, white on the inside.”

I still didn’t really get it, and now I see more of the levels in which this is a terribly hurtful and offensive term. But, back then, all I understood was it was supposed to be offensive. So, the next time a black girl at school bullied me, I inexcusably used it. It doesn’t matter that I was being bullied - that happened all the time, by white students, black students, everybody, it was not race-specific. But my retort was. I selected it specifically because of the skin color of the person bullying me.

It seemed to pass over without much effect; in fact, the girl seemed rather confused and appeared to just write me off as some kind of idiot. I don’t know whether to be grateful about that or not - that my racist outburst seemed to go unfelt, but also unchecked. On the one hand, if it didn’t cause mental or emotional damage, I’m grateful for that. On the other hand, I should have been suspended. But, ultimately, there was no ill effect to me. 

The first thing I ever remember doing that was specifically anti-racist was when I was somewhere between late elementary school and early middle school. I know it was after we had done some token celebrating of Black History Month (I lived in suburban Cincinnati, token was pretty much all we got when it came to racial education).

I was sitting at the dinner table with my dad and stepmom, and I think at least one of my half-siblings had been born by that time. The conversation had somehow turned to different villages around the Cincinnati area. My father mentioned one, and my stepmom gave him a sour look and said, “Oh, don’t go there, that area’s full of B-L-A-C-K’s.” 

Yes, she said that, and yes, she spelled it out like it was a curse word.

I will admit, my anti-racist reaction didn’t occur right then and there - I hadn’t even hit double-digits age-wise, and my stepmom scared the shit out of me. But the comment festered in my slowly evolving mind, and after a few days, I decided to ask a question that clearly embarrassed my dad.

“Is Jenny racist?”

He seemed very flummoxed by my question - as did my mom when I asked her the same thing. Neither one of them seemed to know how to answer, or how to respond when I recounted the impact her B-L-A-C-K’s commented had made on my young and impressionable mind.

Looking back, I wish I had been more proactive, and spoken to my stepmother directly. But I let my biological father and mother know in no uncertain terms that we had studied racism at school and that I was pretty sure what Jenny had said was racist, and that another adult should say something to her about it right away, because she wouldn’t listen to a little kid. 

I don’t know if they ever did. I remember one of the responses - I can’t remember which parent - was a half-hearted, “Well maybe she was only talking about the bad ones.” 

…...

Really?

So, that was my first, trembling, baby-deer-standing-up-in-the-woods attempt at racial advocacy. Pretty lame. But it shows: educate kids about racism in school. Maybe it will eventually result in kids so much braver than I was. Maybe it will lead to greater empathy and understanding, so kids don’t waver back and forth on the spectrum of racism and lapse into their baser selves like I did.

And I’ve been racist since then. At best, I haven’t been a good advocate. At worst, I’ve said disgusting, inappropriate, insensitive things, like “jungle fever” and comments about hair. I’ve denied that I’m racist. I’ve gotten exasperated about people "playing The Race Card.” I’ve gotten frustrated about race-based scholarships, and, most deplorable of all, I’ve quietly thought that maybe black people wouldn’t have so many issues with police if they would just behave themselves.

“Really?”

There’s no excuse. It’s not right, and you can’t blame upbringing, not when we’ve had the benefits of education for decades now. If I knew it in elementary school, then I’ve known it for my entire conscious life. Plus, even people who are “brought up that way” know. 

We know. 

I’m sorry, but we do. All humans are wired the same way - when we do something inherently wrong, we know it. We get that little twang in the backs of our minds, whenever we treat a fellow human as less than. Unfortunately, some people seem to revel in the feeling, splashing around in it like a bubble bath. They can enjoy it and still know that it’s 100% wrong. In fact, sometimes knowing something is wrong makes it that much more fun for people. If that weren’t true, we would have Ashley Madison sites and like half the videos on PornHub, YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT. 

So, what can we do?

We already know that, too. It’s been plastered all over the place since George Floyd’s death, and before then, too, but we weren’t listening hard enough. Listen. Use Your Privilege. Show up. But also, don’t just do it now. Right now, it’s trendy. It’s easy. You can perform your anti-racist dance and get all kinds of applause and accolades right now. Enjoy all that validation while it lasts. But once this all fades - and it will, with the next catastrophe - you can’t stop. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the only thing that proves you’re anti-racist is time, and how you act when more time passes. 

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Remnants Saga Book 2: Broken Remnants now available on Wattpad!

Remnants Saga Book 2: Broken Remnants is now live on Wattpad! Wattpad is free to download and free to use.

This second installment will be the last, for a while anyway. I've had fun with these characters, and it was nice to get inspired again. However, the project has run its course for the time being, and I have a few other things to work on.

I hope you've enjoyed the Remnants duology! I'll see you soon as we gear up for NaNoWriMo 2018.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Enter to win one of three paperback copies of Remnants on Goodreads!

Now available via Goodreads, enter to win one of three free paperback copies of Remnants! Checkout the details here!


Goodreads Book Giveaway

Remnants by Stacy Xavier

Remnants

by Stacy Xavier

Giveaway ends November 30, 2017.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Remnants Free on Amazon Kindle Today Only!

For today only, get Remnants, book 1 of the Remnants Saga, for free on Amazon Kindle!

If you enjoy it, please leave me a review on Amazon! I love to receive your feedback.


Wednesday, August 9, 2017

How to Price Your eBook: Why Luxury Brands Don't Compete On Price and You Shouldn’t Either

One of the biggest struggles I’ve had as an indie author is switching caps between my Writer Self and my Business Self.

For me, my Writer Self is the one who loves writing, creating, imagining, and dreaming. I’d rather focus on the fun stuff – the craft of writing, if you will. It’s why I do this in the first place.

However, my Business Self is what needs to kick in when it comes time to actually sell books. “Sales” can seem like a bit of a curse word to people who are focused on their craft, but it’s something we all need to learn if we’re to achieve that ever-distant dream of supporting ourselves with our craft.

Making Good Art should definitely be a focus. You won’t feel proud selling it if it isn’t good. But, if you have generated a quality piece of work, applying some business sense to the mix will do wonders for you. And some of that business sense means knowing your value, i.e. knowing what to charge.

One of the top mantras you’ll hear in most business models is as follows: Don’t Compete On Price. What does that mean? Don’t try to always have the cheapest product. Cheap products attract bargain shoppers. While we can all understand shopping on a budget, luxury and entertainment purveyors (which includes authors) don’t make a living by marketing to people who claim they can’t afford certain products.

The problem with offering the cheapest product is that it’s possible to eventually get priced out of the market. If your goal is to actually make some money, it’s a lot harder on 99 cent eBooks at a 35% royalty rate than on something more reasonable, and more reflective of your time, effort, and talent.

My Writer Self balks at that lesson. I want to share my craft, and be accessible, and frankly, I feel very hurt when critics suggest my price is too high. I struggle between wanting to be an artist and wanting to support myself doing what I love.

Here’s the thing: you can experiment with pricing. You can have promotions to offer people more opportunities to buy your book, and you can optimize your pricing to find the best range for your target readership. But, don’t feel like you must impoverish yourself for the sake of your art. You have a dream, and your dream is valid.

You may get the occasional nay-sayer, who leaves you a bad review without ever even reading your book, merely to complain, “This isn’t worth the $2.99 price tag! You should price your book at 99 cents!” This type of review says more about the bitter, haughty reviewer than it does about you. Other, more reasonable people recognize that. Don’t get sucked into the price wars that do a disservice to you, your readers, and your fellow authors.

And, really, here’s what’s at issue: is a 2 dollar price difference really that substantial when it comes to buying a book? The effect of 2 dollars on a single reader’s pocket book isn’t huge; but the cumulative effect it has for you as an author who wants to be in the business of writing is game-changing. On Amazon, it’s the difference between 35% and 70%, and being that much closer to your dream of supporting yourself with your writing.

You work hard to turn your dreams into reality, and it takes strength to share your writing with the world and to be vulnerable to other people’s comments and criticisms. When you deliver a quality product, you deserve to have it recognized, and to have pricing that reflects that. For the readers who love you, it isn’t about price, but about delivering the best work you possibly can to them.


My new dystopian young adult book, Remnants, is available on Amazon Kindle for the reasonable price of $2.99. Feel free to check it out and let me know what you think!

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Why Do Fans Love Dystopian Stories?

The Apocalypse.

The End of the World (as we know it).

Dystopia.

Whatever you want to call it, we’re pretty obsessed with it.

From The Walking Dead to The Hunger Games, plus hits like Divergent and just about every zombie movie ever made, we are fascinated with depictions of the end times. We ruminate over barren wastelands, isolation, and the musings of what a desolate future might hold after a world gone mad.

The End comes in any number of ways. Drought. Nuclear war. Disease. Undead. Asteroid. The result is always the same: small pockets of survivors strive to endure, confronting challenges that range from murderous hoards to depleted resources. Plus, there are always those who want to take advantage of the misfortune of others for personal gain.



Whatever the focus, these types of stories are dark. The future of mankind is bleak, the setting is usually harsh and unforgiving, and despair and hopelessness are omnipresent.

So, why on Earth do we love reading about this stuff? What’s the appeal of post-apocalyptic movies and TV shows? Are we all just crazy gluttons for punishment? Here, we’ll take a look at a handful of reasons why we love dystopian stories.

1) The Select Few Endure

As depressing as these stories are, we love to follow the heroes and heroines, envisioning ourselves in their shoes. How would we react if we were one of the chosen few? What steps would we take to become Certified Badasses capable of surviving in a post-apocalyptic world? How would we help rebuild society?

Dystopian fiction provides some of the escapism we all need to step back and get perspective on our lives, and stepping into the shoes of a strong hero for a little while can help us feel empowered and refreshed.

2) We Can Rebuild

When the real world is already full of hopelessness, why pile on? Because dystopian and post-apocalyptic stories are about more than devastation: they are about survival after the worst has happened. Underneath the despair is the glimmer of potential: we can overcome these challenges, and make a better world.

3) We Kind of Want the World to Burn

Wait, what?

No, you read that right. Many of us are psychologically inclined to want the end of the world to happen.
 
Contemplating the end of the world triggers certain fear responses, which some people are wired to crave. Whether it’s a case of needing validation, a fatalistic outlook on life, or a desire to escape individual responsibility, dystopian stories give us the psychological rush we need.


It’s not entirely unhealthy, either. In fact, “preppers,” people who actively prepare for a doomsday scenario, are engaging in goal-oriented behavior that therapists often recommend to people in crisis.

What about you? Are you into the dystopian genre? What’s the appeal for you? And what are your favorite dystopian movies, books, and authors?


If you enjoy dystopian fiction, I invite you to check out my latest novel, Remnants, now available on Wattpad and Amazon Kindle.